Theater of Absurd Meets Flaming $500 Race Cars at the 24 Hours of LeMons
Super-car: Or, at least, BuckSnort Racing's weapon of choice
(This is a behind the scenes look at my recent race at LeMons. The full story is on Bloomberg News, titled “Clash of Clunkers Puts Speed Freaks on Racetrack in $500 Cars.”)
When I first contacted Jay Lamm, the “brains” behind 24 Hours Of LeMons — a race where no car can cost more than $500 — I asked if he could put me on a team. “Civilian or journalist?” he asked. I know how other car journalists tend to drive, so I quickly asked for the civie team.
Soon he linked me up with BuckSnort Racing, a family affair out of Michigan, who are hands down the nicest people I’ve ever met. I had about a five minute conversation with Tim Horbal, a 20-something who’s also an engineer at Toyota, before he’d invited me onto the team. No vetting, no wondering about my own credentials (ie, ability to drive). And little concern, seemingly, that all the hours of work, all the money and care put into their quite cherry 1987 BMW 325e could vanish under the hands of someone they’d never even met. I could crash into the wall on the first lap, after all.
All the peeps: BuckSnort Racing and our finery (though missing Jen Machnee for some reason)
My buddy and colleague Joshua Paul accompanied me out to Detroit, where we then made the two-hour drive toward Lake Michigan, where Gingerman Raceway is located. (I thought it was right outside of Detroit… um, research much Jason?)
Minutes upon arriving, I was buckled into the very clean, very well-taken-care of BMW, and was out doing practice laps. Minutes after that I was back on solid ground, confident in both the car and having an idea of the racetrack, and enjoying myself talking to parents Richard and Linda; nephew and his wife Ben and Jen Machnee (Ben is a genius mechanic) and their Austrian friends, the Scherzers. Five of us would be driving 15 hours over the weekend.
And, so, the race. Richard led us out on Saturday, super capably, putting up fast laps and we were soon in 7th place out of 50 cars. Ben followed up, just as capably and just as fast. Then it was me, Walter, and finally Tim.
Sadly, there were penalties. A spin off the track, a passing under yellow flag, a bit of “contact” with another car. These things happen. Especially at LeMons. By the end of day, we had a bunch of stuff welded and bolted to the top of the roof.
Judgemental: The 'staches rule, at LeMons
Things could have been much, much worse. There were the guys who had to dress up in drag and then race each other in high heels. There was this punishment, below…
Penalty Box: One of Lemons' many creative penalties
And then there were the people running behind their car, singing songs — sort of an around-the-paddock death march, only with disco music.
But THIS is what bashing into another car earned us (even if it was the other guy’s fault — it always is)…
The Ring: Team owner Richard Horbal and one of our prize/penalties
Heh.
The racing itself was brilliant. Or, if not exactly brilliant by, say, F1 standards, it was certainly mad fun. Exciting. Adrenaline making.
Oh the Thrill: The Bimmer at full tilt
Our car was fast. Steering was perfect — you could swing it perfectly onto the racing line, but when you needed to pass, you could dive deep inside, then slide the car around the corner. The 3 Series was light and yet excellently balanced. A great track tool, and basically just as much fun, if not more, than more modern machines. Ben and Tim and Richard had done a truly spectacular job getting it prepared and keeping it running.
At one point, the exhaust did come undone while I was driving, and it dragged around a lap, kicking up sparks. I pitted, they fixed it in record time, and I was back out.
Team!: Tim Horbal, Toyota engineer and rockin' racer
BuckSnort: Linda and Richard Horbal -- a GREAT team
Did we win?
Well, no. We didn’t expect to, really. The family had completed another race earlier int he season, an actual 24 hours, and finished mid-pack. But I think they were surprised to find how fast both the car was, and how capable they were as drivers. Richard was fast, Ben was fast, and Tim did one of the fastest laps of the entire race.
As for me: I was pretty fast, kept it out of the walls and grass, passed far more people than ever passed me, and didn’t destroy their special creation. I was happy.
Joshin;: Colleague Joshua Paul shot our race
End of the second day: We came in twelfth place. The cars that did better than us, overwhelmingly, did so because they avoided penalties. Bastards.
Me and the bear: Beers followed
Then the Horbals had to go back to their real lives, dispersing. Josh and I were sad to see them go. For that amount of time it really did feel like family. And besides, they were taking that sweet Bimmer with them.
Latley, I’ve been eyeing junker cars I see around town. Old hatchback Civics. Beat-up Subarus. A decrepit CRX. That would make a good LeMons car. Or that.
Uh-oh.
